'Strange Day'

by

Lorne Kates

T

hey always told me I shouldn't go to the university.

It's too much trouble, they'd all say. Too much work for such a measly reward. They all said there wasn't any difference between someone who goes to the university and someone who doesn't.

Of course, I didn't listen to them. I never listen to them. More often than not, people tell me I'm not the brightest one-- maybe it's because I never went to university? Nope, no higher education for me. I graduated from high school, came of legal age, and dove right into my chosen field.

Vampire.

You don't need university to be a vampire, just that stupid training course-- a waste of two perfectly good weekends. I knew the course was going to be crap when "stay away from the university" was the first thing they said. Sure they also told me all about the sun and stakes and such-- but they really told me to stay away from the university. Where's the food, then? They pointed out plenty of other legal, licensed feeding grounds in and around Waterloo. The university wasn't one of them.

No one goes to the university, they said. I asked around, and it turns out that even vampires who didn't care much for the law-- like me-- don't feed there. The university had some sorta 'unspoken truce' with us. It seemed like such a waste-- all that perfectly good food walking around untouched. You know what? I didn't care if they said 'don't go to the university'. I still went.

Of course now, thinking about it, it probably wasn't the brightest idea I've ever had. Everyone always said I wasn't the brightest one. I mentioned that already, though. See what I mean? Not the brightest.

So I went. It was dumb, and now here I am. I'm in trouble, and no one to blame for it but myself. Well, no one except myself and that damned scientist. He's to blame just as much as I am.

Bastard.

Of course, he's all cozy and I'm in trouble. Big trouble. Not trouble in the "they're going to send vampire hunters after you" sense, though. Worse. It's even beyond the lines of "screwed beyond your wildest dreams (and not in the good way!)" trouble. Yup, it's worse than that. This is the "I'm going to brood away the last hour of my un-life sitting on a rock" type of trouble.

They say brooding is unhealthy but, y'know what? Screw them for once. I'm allowed to brood if I want to because I'm a vampire. Especially because I am a vampire.

Stupid bastard scientist. I hate him.

Looking back on it, I should have gone with my first choice which-- that's right -- didn't involve going to the university.

It went something like this.

#

There's this strip plaza just outside the university campus. It's called "University Plaza". Creative, huh? I went there 'cause there's plenty of dark places that are perfect for a snatch-and-drink. There I was, moseying along, checking out dark, shadowy places. I had just about picked my spot, having narrowed it down to two; either behind the seedy pub, or behind the pizza place. Then, you see, my eye gets caught-- by the university. I mean, it was right there, no more than a hundred meters away, taunting me. So damn smug and self-righteous, thinking it was untouchable. It just pissed me off so much!

Why should all that food, so close and easy to take, be off limits? Because a bunch of old dust-bags, who're centuries out of touch with the realities of the modern vampire, said so. It's stupid. Really stupid.

Besides, I figured, it's not like I'd get caught.

So I slipped out of the shadows of the plaza, and walked towards the campus. I didn't mind leaving a primo spot behind-- I wasn't really in the mood for fast food, anyways. I wanted something different. Something special.

A walkway lead away from the plaza, across the railroad tracks, and onto the campus ground. I followed it-- this-way then that-way-- and found myself in an empty courtyard. There were plenty of shadows to hide in, thanks to the massive, grey-stoned library. I've heard people say the library is so big you can get lost in it and it would take hours for anyone to find you. I took one step towards it, drew in some air-- whem! I got a sniff of the dusty stench of all those books. Gah! I could smell the reek, all the way out there in the courtyard. I nearly sneezed! No way was I going to be surrounded by a stench that awful while I ate.

So I settled back down in my shadows, and waited. Whaddya know, I didn't have to wait too long. Within minutes, a group of university girls came walking by. The group split. Three of them left, leaving me and the fourth one nice-and-alone. She bent over to unchain her bicycle from the rack-- I crept forward. The smell of her blood was in my nose. I could taste her already. Yum!

I was almost out of the shadows, fangs ready, when, by chance, I caught a peek under her jacket. I saw what was under that black-and-yellow jacket, and I stopped. A gi. Those white shirts-and-pants uniforms that martial-arts-kung-fu people wear. I took a deeper sniff. Sweat and adrenaline-- she was chock full of both. She must have just come from a self-defense/ass-kicking class. I could smell it in her muscles. They were just waiting to try out whatever they had learned.

She'd struggle. Sure, they all do -- but this one would know how to do it properly. I may not be the brightest, but I'm no idiot. Even though I'd obviously overpower her, I'd have to fight her first, and the snack just wouldn't be worth the effort. She'd make noise. She'd draw attention to herself. She'd ruin my meal.
Besides, after all the exercise she'd just come from, she'd probably taste all tired and stringy. She'd taste all sour-- right? Yeah.

I watched. She unlocked her bike, mounted it and rode away. I kicked a stone, hard, and sent it sailing over the roof of one of the buildings. As Miss Karate-Chop's scent faded into the winds, something else caught my nose. I love this vampire nose! I sniffed, and-- wow! A sweet, sweet odor grabbed me by the nostril-hairs and pulled me towards the building on the south end of the courtyard.

The building had a door, and beside that door was a plain looking sign. "Physics". The door was locked. Snap, the lock was dead and gone-- no match for vampire strength urged on by that wonderful smell. So fresh, so exciting. You would have followed it, too. I don't care how smart you think you are, you would have followed it right into the university, too. Just like I did!

The aroma lead me to a door marked "Lab". Labs meant scientists! Mmm -- brain food.

I opened the door a crack, peeked in, sniffed. The scent punched my brain in the stomach with all its glory. Okay, stick with me, because at this point everything gets a bit, urr, blurry.

From the doorframe, I leapt into the laboratory in full vamp-mode-- fangs out, mouth open, hissing. All things considered, it wasn't the best plan but it was the first plan I thought of. Actually, it was the only plan I thought of. Okay-- maybe I hadn't been thinking at all.

I was hungry, and the hunger must have made me clumsy-- made me jump the gun. That's the best I can figure it. Before I could think twice (or once), I had already burst into the room. It wasn't my fault the stupid scientist got scared. It's not like I was going to kill him, I was just there for a snack. But he started running all around the lab so I was forced to chase him. And all he did was yell and run and scream. It was pathetic.

So, anyways, I catch him, and I've got him in my hands, and he's still screaming away. I'm ready, so ready to feed. Then, whack, all I see is stars! There must have been a lab assistant or someone hiding all along. He hit me from behind, of course. The bastard! They're bastards, the both of them, if they have to hit someone in the back of the head instead of to their face.

I'm dazed. I'm wobbly. I'm stumbling all around. I can't say exactly which machine I landed on, but I can tell you for sure that it wasn't covered properly. It felt like someone smacked me again, then there was this big blue light. How can you be so smart to be a scientist but not put a cover on the machine you're building? It's a dumbass thing to do!

The world went all fiddle-faddle-foo... and the next thing I knew, I was face-down on a pile of sand.

Yup, sand. Not ugly university floor tile. Sand.
It got in my mouth, in my hair, and all over my nice clothes. I didn't even notice where I was, I was so pissed off at the sand. Then it struck me.

Sand?

I looked around, and had no idea where I was. A desert. Not a university. I checked again. Definitely a desert-- not the University of Waterloo.

There wasn't anything-- no tire marks or camel tracks or signs that said "Welcome to Nowhere, Nevada" or "You Are Now Entering Backwards, Texas"-- nothing! Nothing all around! It had to be, like, two thousand miles in any direction. The moon had long since set, and the stars were fading. Dawn was just around the corner. Dawn!

Yeah, that got my attention real quick.

It wasn't fair! I wanted a snack-- that's all. Instead, I'm going to be incinerated.

I'm in the middle of a damned desert and it's nearly dawn. It's not a dream or a hologram or any of that crap. I pinched myself, flailed my arms, dug a hole (well, I tried to. Stupid shifting sand). I tried it all, and in the process managed to go through every single swear I know. Nothing worked.

I even thought, hey, maybe I could do one of those blood sacrifice ritual things that I always hear about in the undead community. Appease a god or do a take-me-home spell-- or slow down the sun for a bit. Y'know, to give me time to run for cover. I didn't have a fancy knife, or know how to speak Latin or Funky or whatever the hell they speak, but so what? A sacrifice is a sacrifice, right? It's not like the sun is gonna care what words I said. I just needed a sacrifice.

It damn well figures, though. I looked everywhere, and there wasn't so much as a camel or a snail or anything. Not a single living thing. Anywhere! The only thing I found was this damn huge rock, and you can't get blood from a rock. Trust me. I tried.

What the hell could I do with a big, stupid rock? Sit on it and brood?

Well, actually-- yeah, that's exactly what I did.

#

So here I am-- sitting on my rock. Brooding.

I'm screwed.

It's not fair. Damn scientist. I hate him. He's killed me. When that sun comes over the horizon, I'm dead. Dead-dead, true dead, all for keeps and no coming back. I wasn't even going to hurt him! Bites don't hurt. I've been getting good at all that mind trickery stuff-- he probably wouldn't even remember anything the next morning. So he'd be short a bit of blood, what difference would it have made to him? A big breakfast later, and he'd be all topped off. I only wanted some fun-- and for that he kills me.

It's not fair!

Great, now I'm crying. I shouldn't be crying. I'm a superior being! I'm a vampire-- and I'm going to die because of it. It's just not fair at all.

I sniffle, and all I smell are my own salts. There isn't a drop of blood or gas or cement or oil or clothes or anything to be smelt. There's just me here, in this mess, all alone. All because I didn't listen when they said not to go to the university. They were right, and I hate them for it. Although, come to think of it, they weren't really right, were they?

Yeah. They said not to go to the university because it would mean political problems or some crap like that. They never said it'd be bad 'cause you'd get killed by a scientist. If they had said that I'd never have done gone. But they never told me. They must have wanted to kill me-- either that, or they were just morons. I hate them either way.

The sand gets a really vicious kick from me, sending up a nice, big cloud of sand. Now I can see the cloud as it drifts back down.

Night's over.

East must be that way, where the sky's a big red and gray swirl. I wipe away the last of my tears. It's stupid to cry. For once in my whole existence I should stop being stupid and just do something smart. Something cultured, or high class or something-- like appreciating a sunrise. Yeah, that'd be nice. It's better than any of the stupid things I've wasted my life doing.

I'm going to die-- but at least I'm going to die on my feet, facing my killer. You know, I just realized-- I haven't seen the sun in almost two years. And, come to think of it, I've never seen the sunrise. Period. I may never have seen it rise but I'm damn well going to before I die. Or as I die. Whatever. I'm going to watch the sunrise, and I'm going to appreciate the damn thing like it was a painting.

By now, the eastern sky is a really freaky swirl of red and gray. It's a big patch of frozen, red fire. It's beautiful. I've never really thought of anything as beautiful before. At least, I think it's beautiful. I don't know-- it's not like I've seen any other sunrises to compare it to. There might be nicer sunrises. Maybe this one's a crappy sunrise, and I'm getting ripped. No-- screw that. This one's mine! It's damn beautiful because I say it is.

I draw a deep breath into my wonderful vampire nose. I want to know exactly what air smells like when the sun rises. It smells exactly the same as it did five minutes ago. Oh. That's a bit disappointing.

The horizon distorts and bulges. A small, red crescent peeks over.

This is it. Goodbye, world.

I can see the top of a small disc, so visible, so well defined. I don't remember the sun ever being that small. And how come it isn't spread out all across the sky in multiple colors like a sunset?

Man is this ever disappointing.

Maybe sunrises aren't supposed to look as nice as sunsets? That must be why nobody makes movies or writes books about them. This must just be how sunrises are. Yeah. I'm getting a great show. It's beautiful.

The small disc breaks its contact with the horizon, and stands on its own. Eyes closed and fists clenched, I face the sun, full on, and wait for the rush of heat. Once I start burning, it'll all be over.

The sun's up now. My face is warm. It doesn't seem to hurt at all. Come to think of it, it's not all that hot, either. I'm confused.

I open my eyes, and look about. Doesn't help any. Yup, it's still there-- the desert, in all its sprawling crappiness. The sky is blue, and the sun is still rising. It's day-- no doubt about it. Right now. This very moment. Morning.

I see the sun.

What the HELL?

Okay, give me a moment.

I'm a vampire, right? Yup, that I clearly remember. I'm in the middle of a desert. Yup, that I remember too. Did I die? No, I don't remember that. I here. Unless I'm a ghost. No, I don't think so. There's nothing behind me. No flaming vampire body. No gigantic pile of ash. Nothing's there, except for the sun. Yes, the sun. I remember that too.

I'm a vampire in the sun.

I'm alive! Alive and running, skipping-- laughing like mad. Not running anywhere in particular. I'm just running-- because I can! And I can skip, and flail my arms, and scream at the top of my lungs-- because I am alive!

The sun's full and bright and yellow and I'm still not dead. Sweet!

Why am I alive? The best answer is: who cares? I just am!

But maybe I should care.

Yes, I certainly should. Why am I alive? Could it be something the scientist did to me? But what did he do? I don't know.

Bah! It's bugging me. I don't know anything. But hey, it's not because I'm stupid! No one told me. No one gave me the information about the weird-blue-blast-machine. I don't know anything about it-- including if this sun-resistance is only temporary.

Wait-- "temporary" means it can wear off at any time, right?

Oh crap.

I look up. The sun is directly overhead, bearing down on me. What's to stop whatever's protecting me from it to just, poof, go away and leave me to burn? I don't want to burn!

Instinct kicks in! Run! Hard. Fast.

I can't get away from the sun; it's still there, following me.

Of course it is, stupid! It's the sun. Calm down. Think! For once in my stupid life it's time to think!

Okay, fine.

Assumption: I'm immune to the sun, but it might only be temporary. Given that, what's the best way to use this gift of extra time?

Find a way to get to safety. Which direction is the shortest distance to the edge? I don't know. For all I know, I'm probably running deeper into the desert, taking the longest way possible. It would be just like me to do something stupid like that!

No! I've got to stop doing that. Sure, the other way might have been shorter, but then again, maybe it wasn't. There's no way to know. This is the direction I'm going in. Stick with it! I'm going this way, and whatever happens will happen.

I'm running again, as fast as I can go. West. Hunger follows me-- that empty, desperate feeling. Got to use that feeling-- use it to push myself. Listen up, veins: there's food in this direction. If I keep going, there'll be food soon. I've got to think about something other than my empty veins.

My plan: keep moving throughout the night, and hope to reach cover before the next sunrise. I got lucky today. Best not to push it.

What lies ahead? Maybe there's a nomad tribe. Yeah. A nomad tribe with tents. They'll protect me from the sun until nightfall. Then I can take some blood and leave. Maybe I won't take-- I can ask for a willing donor. It would only be fair-- to ask, that is. Wouldn't it?

Or maybe there's a city. Wouldn't that be something, to come across a city in a desert? Maybe it'll be Houston! With an adventure like this-- that'd impress the fangs off the other vampires. I bet it would even impress the Ruler of that city. (Who is the Ruler of Houston? I never followed foreign politics). Hell, maybe-- just maybe-- this'll become impressive enough to make me the Ruler of a city. Why not?

Hey, if I do hit Houston, that'd mean I'm in the States. I'll need to get back to Canada. How am I going to deal with Customs? They'll think I snuck in to the States! I don't have my passport on me. Not like it would matter if I did-- they don't have any record of me coming into the country! And those border guards-- they've got no sense of humor to begin with. There's not a blood-drop's chance in a frenzy they're going to believe this story! I'm going to have to rely on my vampire brethren for this one. They're going to have to smuggle me back into Canada. What an amusing thought.

This is good. I've got to keep thinking; about getting back home; about the stories I'll be able to tell; about my next meal.

Presently the sun, on its own journey, overtakes me. It gets in my eyes, on my skin, in my clothes. I push on. The urge to flee the ball of gas and fire that is my mortal enemy-- to turn and run -- it's damn strong.

I fight it, and continue West.

The sun stays its course, too.

The sky's darkening.

I'm close, now. I'm near a town or settlement or something. It's got to be just over the horizon-- I can feel it.

Something catches the corner of my left eye. Hey, cool! The moon's risen. The daylight's fading, but still bright enough that the moon's just barely visible-- a faint, translucent-white sliver. I forget if it is a new moon or-- damn, what's the term again? Ah, right-- 'waxing' or 'waning'. Regardless, I'm just glad it's not a full moon. The last thing I need right now is to have to deal with a pack of werewolves. Though, in a desert, would it be werecamels?

The sun dips further and further down the sky, and I can't help but watch it. It's bathed in dark blues and deep purples and harsh reds. It's beautiful. Much nicer than the sunrise. I certainly can see why people make movies and write books and stuff about sunsets.

Yup, the sunset sure is beautiful.

Hey! Got to concentrate! Got to concentrate on running. I can't let the sunset distract me At least, I can't let it distract me too much--

Something solid hits my foot. I hit the ground rolling, hard and out of control. I throw my arms out, trying to catch hold of the spinning ground, trying to stop. I slide to a halt, and bounce to my feet. Whoa. Dizzy. Down I go again.

I'm going to lie here for a bit. Just for a minute.

That feeling's still there-- civilization. It must really close now. The feeling's strong.

Okay, rest time is over. The sun's almost set. Panic! If the sun sets before I get my bearings again--I've been using the sun to keep my path straight! If it goes down, I'm lost! Crap, crap, crap!

Dammit, I need to calm down! I can't think. Relax. Okay.

Idea: If I was able to use the sun as a compass, why can't I use the moon, too? Yeah, that'd work. Why didn't I think of that before?

Boy, am I stupi-- no.

I'm not stupid. It just took me a moment to realize there was another answer, that's all. I don't usually have to figure stuff like this out. But, hey-- in the end, I did! I came up with the solution by myself. All by myself. So there.

So which way do I go? Well, there's the moon, hanging in the dusk sky, surrounded by the first few early stars. It's right there, bright, and half full. I-- wait.

I look up at the moon. Half full?

Yeah.

I look around. Behind me: the sunset-- and the moon. The sun's nearly set, lost in its own whorl of colors and grays. The moon's there -- still just a sliver. I looked behind me. The moon's there, too.

The moons have risen. Both of them.

Two moons? Yes. Okay. Fine. But-- two moons?

Yes.

Think, think, think. The sun's in its final throes. The sky is turning black. Stars are appearing.

Think!

All this time I've been running, there's been this feeling. I thought it meant I was getting closer and closer to civilization. I was wrong. That feeling-- so familiar. It feels just like--

Yeah.

Any normal night, when the sun's getting ready to rise, I can feel it. All vampires feel the sun lurking just beyond the horizon. It's instinct; danger! Hide!

Last night, sitting on the rock, waiting for the sun to rise-- I hadn't felt anything. Why not? Shock, maybe? Another side effect of the blue-blast? Doesn't matter, really. I hadn't felt the sunrise.

But damn sure straight, I was feeling it now. That gut feeling-- that mixture of panic and relief and fear--
Okay, now I might not be the brightest person, but I know a couple constellations, okay? I know Orion's Belt, and I know the Big Dipper, I know-- well, I just know a bunch of constellations, okay? I know them when I look at them, but right now, I can't find a single one!

And now, to make things even better, I itch! My shirt's full of sand! Sure, why not? One more thing to annoy me. An itchy chest-- I thought vampires were supposed to be immune to this sort of crap.

Maybe I'm just not looking at the stars right. There's more of them in the desert, right? (Stupid sand filled desert) Yeah. But then why can't I recognize any constellations? Could the extra light from the second moon be blocking the stars I know?

But there aren't two moons! Not even in Texas, not in any desert, not anywhere--

--anywhere on Earth.

Stupid lousy bastard scientist! Not on Earth! That's what the bastard machine did. It sent me to another planet!

Great, now I'm crying again. Bastard scientist! I'm crying and itching and crying. Why? Because of the sand. No, stupid, I already know why I'm itching. Why am I crying?

Because I'm not on Earth. I'm on another planet! With a crazy sun, two freaking moons, and sand that gets in my shirt!

And that nagging feeling driving me insane! It's annoying, and I should have to put up with it for this long! I should be tucked away, all nice and cozy, in my bed. In Waterloo. On Earth!

I-- Okay, that was strange. That star-- right there. It just jumped out at me.

I recognize it.

Oh, do I ever recognize it. I recognize it all too well. Not because of books or maps or because it looks familiar.
This is one-hundred percent instinct.

Yeah. I've stopped crying now.

I'm still itchy, though. How much sand fits in one shirt? Do I have a rash? I check my chest, and--

There's smoke rising from my chest. My chest-- it's not itchy anymore. It's burning. It feels like a white-hot pinprick, and its' growing. My chest is hot, fiery hot, deep down, and spreading.

Stupid! The instinct-- the star--

Sol. The Sun. Vampire's Bane. That star is that sun.

"Oh," I say aloud, and burst into flames.

 
* * * * * (c) Lorne Kates, All Rights Reserved

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